He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
