My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
This toilet bowl is my home.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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