if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
