the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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