I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
