i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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