I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
