fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
