Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
