we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
