There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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