I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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