She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
