Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
