she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
