Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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