Pants 0. Shit 1.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
