the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Randomize
