How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
