New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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