I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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