So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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