I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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