its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
