He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
be right there i have to get my cape
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
