Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
