I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
