tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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