yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
