you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Hippo gnu deer
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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