And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
