I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
