Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
