Your face is a jimmy john
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
