I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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