I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
