Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Let's get the cat blown out
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
