I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
