your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
my being single is dangerous.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize
