So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
