I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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