well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize