new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
