I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
