i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
