i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
