So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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