I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
