Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
