drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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